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Paint All The Walls The Same

by Bogues

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1.
Aurora Alone 04:24
Everybody else is out of town I promise I'm not calling cuz I'm lonely It's just you mold my shape to fit yours somehow And I keep coming back although you told me that you don't know It's like pulling teeth Too numb to hurt It's like a part of me Decided not to work I'm circling the block outside my house Feeling the same way each time I finish I'm dizzy by the hundredth time about Something you said while my head wasn't in it It's like pulling teeth Too numb to hurt It's like a part of me Decided not to work You tore a page out of a book you loved And put it up on my wall With marks and highlighter on your favorite parts And a note to the guy who wrote them all Now I think it's on the floor or in a box In the room down the hall Strange how some things can mean so much and then nothing at all
2.
Got out of my car just south of Union Old tire marks, I guess we'd been arguing Saw the whole thing playing in slow motion But I really put some time into getting past it I'll marry too young So i never have to feel alone with everyone Attached to someone Then I'll teach my two sons In hopes that they be better than I ever was Without holding me up Couldn't pay my rent again I went to stay with you Better than my mom's, but then I guess I never told you I always close off my head, and you just needed someone to talk to You'd think that'd be an easy thing to do I'll marry too young So i never have to feel alone with everyone Attached to someone Then I'll teach my two sons In hopes that they be better than I ever was Without holding me up Maybe down the road I'll buy the house I grew up in And paint all the walls the same as when I was ten Maybe I won't feel guilty for all the things I did Instead of being ashamed of what I've been I'll marry too young So i never have to feel alone with everyone Attached to someone Then I'll teach my two sons In hopes that they be better than I ever was Than I'll ever become
3.
I'm hoping things matter And the next couple years Don't feel like the former Right now there's no point to being here There's no point to being here The chip on my shoulder The spots on my skin A constant reminder That it was always going to happen again I'd always sink lower Hoping the bottom nears Then I'll try and recover Unless there's no point to being here There's no point to being But in that moment You felt purpose You felt light You laughed despite what you're feeling inside All it was was a moment Not a purpose It wasn't right You're more different as time goes running down the line You're different and you told yourself a lie
4.
Rain All Day 03:08
Calm me down again Like only you can do You're growing leaves and branches I'm tripping at your roots And I'm trying not to need you But when I wake up it's the first thing that I do Under the shower head Sweating out the blues You're ankle deep in it I'm washing out the wound And I'm trying not to need you But when I wake up it's the first thing that I do And I'm trying not to need you But when I wake up it's the first thing that I do
5.
Slowing your burns running from end to end I replace it all after to do it all over again I took a piece when it was just embers And watched it go out as if it never mattered to me And I called it progress, a north pointing compass Needle straying off the line when I'm convinced I deserve it Followed a pattern I always repeat I'm sorry I'm making things harder for me Head in a hole Mel, you're moving on south for the summer With you headed down it's been pulling me under Taking my time coming up for air wondering If I'll be less of myself when you get there We used to talk. I forgot what about But I remember the drive home from your house Your head in your forearm, some words in your mouth I couldn't hear you then, and I know it's too late, but I'm listening now Head in a hole All that's left of you detaches and blows away It'll never come back again. Wish it would stay Miss who you were, tell me it's okay I regret who I was, but there are parts that I miss everyday You're holding your hand out, and touching my face And I thought I felt better, but it was just a phase I should do it for myself. I know I should change Until the wind whips me around again and into the lake Head in a hole Head in a I regret who I was, but there are parts that I miss everyday

credits

released November 1, 2019

Recorded, Mixed, and Mastered by Calvin Lauber. Art by Alex Zarek

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Bogues Nashville, Tennessee

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